Gosh, sometimes I manage to really piss myself off! I don't know why I always let things in my life affect me in a negative way and the first things I give up on are diet, water and exercise. Bad habits creep over me like a low, thick cloud until I am smothered and they become a daily ritual.
I do not deal with things like a healthy human being and that is where the problems lie. I jump on ideas and fads quickly but lack the muster and self belief to keep them going and change good habits in to lifestyle choices. For example a stressful work/ relationship/ financial situation will happen or I'll get ill in the middle of a health kick and if I cannot shake it off quickly enough I then get depressed, leading to more lethargy and more illness and inevitably comfort food so my body has too much sugar and salt in it to fight off disease.
The irony being that if I just stayed positive instead of initally being consumed with defeat, then the exercise and healthy living would make me feel better anyway. As running ALWAYS does! Gotta love those endorphins. Depression is a complicated thing and I am trying to succeed. My bad spells are not as drastic as they used to be when I was younger, so with age grows wisdom and hopefully a little self preservation.
Anyway, over the last two months I have been recovering from a nasty (unknown) illness that I personally believe was passed on to me from the District Line and the dirty, sneezy blighters that travel on it. BUT I have been slowly seeing the light at the end of the very long tunnel and over the last couple of weeks in particular I have been a regular on the roads. I am still not 100% well (when is anyone I guess) and I am listening to my body. If I feel overwhelmingly tired then I need to rest, not push it too hard. I need to coax the runner out of me bit by bit, step by step. I still have six months until my half marathon, so if I take it a little at a time, improving possibly 1 to 2 miles every couple of weeks I will get there. I just need to not panic or stress or get too lax on my diet and water drinking. Hmmmm 'not to panic or stress' - well there's a first for everything!